All in a name

Have you ever looked up the meaning or origin or your name or your children's name?

Before we knew we were having a boy, I wrote out a list of boy's names. (I didn't need to write a list for girl's names because Cody had already named her Ellie Marie.) I got online and searched for Irish names since Cody has an Irish heritage and ancestry. My list probably had about 25 names. That night, we went to a Baylor baseball game and I decided to read my list to Cody. He shook his head at so many and then I said the name, "Hayes". He sat up a little straighter in his chair and said, "I like that name." So my response was, "Did we just name our little boy?", and indeed we had. We played around with the name the rest of the night and I even remember calling my parents to tell them. We both had it in our minds that he was going to play baseball so I would tell Cody, "And up to bat....number 4...Hayes Hall". It just sounded so very absolutely perfect and to name him at a baseball game made it even sweeter to Cody.

Several days after we had gotten admitted to the hospital, Cody's cousin sent him a text that referred to Hayes name. I never thought about looking up the meaning of the name; we just really liked it. Hayes means "hedged area". We knew at that moment that Hayes was being protected because Jesus had placed a hedged area of protection around him. Hayes was being protected. When the doctors didn't give us a chance, Hayes fought for 6 more weeks. He was being protected. Even in Heaven, I know in my heart that our baby boy is being protected, and now, he is helping Jesus place a hedge of protection around his family. It's all perfectly in his name.

Hayes' March for Babies Walk

What an emotional day! It was amazing to meet so many family's and hear them share their stories about their angel babies and how they imagine them in Heaven with each day that passes. I pictured all these sweet babies gathered around Jesus pointing out their Mommy's and Daddy's on Saturday morning and telling Him how  proud they are for each of them. I was also proud of all the Mommy's and Daddy's pushing forward and honoring their babies. Yes, it's a difficult journey, but so many people proved that with the love of God in their heart, moments of joy can be brought about by such sadness.

Cody and I know how blessed we are by Hayes. We will share his story to anyone willing to listen.  We also know how blessed we are by our family and friends. Without their love and support, I'm not sure we would be where we are today. So much love has been poured over us from the first evening in the hopsital.

We set a goal to raise $1388 for Hayes' March for Babies team. WE REACHED THE GOAL! "Hall"ing it for Hayes raised $1435. I thank all of my family, friends and coworkers who donated to Hayes' team, and also joined us to walk on Saturday. It makes my heart smile to know that this money will help save other babies around the world. It may be a small amount in the big scheme of things, but even the smallest of amounts can make all the difference. I encourage you to get involved with your local March of Dimes campaign. I promise, you will be amazed at the joy you experience after you see how your support can change the life of a baby. I encourage you to volunteer at your local NICU. You will never be the same after holding the tiniest of babies in your hand. These babies can feel your love cover them.

Pictures from our walk

"Hall"ing it for Hayes team

Mama Cane, Matthew and Seth joining us for the walk

Butterfly wings to honor babies born to soon, full term, with disabilities and our angel babies.

The Hall crew

Baby Mack. Hayes' cousin born less than a month after him.

My husband and me

Baby Matthew. A NICU graduate!

Our team cake. Hayes would have loved this.

Pops and me

One simple sentence

One simple sentence or exchange of words can bring so much emotion to the surface. Our pastor, PK, has been preaching a sermon series that covers the spiritual tools that can equip you on handling grief. Even though I feel Cody and I are walking faithfully through our grief with hands held and faces towards Jesus, we still have sad moments. I think this happens for anyone dealing with a loss or sickness. Grief can be overwhelming. It can control your daily activities if you don't know how to handle or recover. So, Pastor Kevin's sermon really spoke to our hearts. He said one simple sentence that broke me down, but in a good way.

"He can never come back to you, but you will one day be able to go to him."

One powerful sentence. Even though I knew this already, just to hear someone say it out loud was moving. Tears began to stream down my face. What truth can be found in such a simple statement. Yes, it is true that there is nothing that Cody and I can do that will bring Hayes back to this Earth, but we can do everything in our power to be able to one day be reunited with him, kiss his precious little face, hold his hand, and sweep him up into our arms. WE must continue to live a faith filled life together. There will always be sad moments, but we need to call on Jesus in these moments so He can carry us out of the pit. He will wipe away our tears and remind us of our beautiful angel in Heaven that is watching and waiting on us. But I know in the meantime, Hayes is having a grand time and sending his love down to his Mommy and Daddy.