Church has saved us both from staying down in a pit after we lost out sweet baby Hayes. Each sermon seems to be directed at both of us reminding us that we are not alone and Jesus is carrying us during our moments of sadness. This was especially true this past Sunday. As the band was playing, Anchor, by Hillsong, there was an image of Jesus on the cross and Cody started to cry. (Keep in mind I'm usually the one who breaks down and cries during church, so I knew something had spoken to him about Hayes.) As we climbed into the car, he told me what was going through his mind. He said, "Jesus died on the cross knowing that we would one day need him to hold our Hayes. He knew he would hold or son in Heaven as he was nailed to that cross."
Cody's words were so powerful that I immediately started to cry. I never thought of it that way. Yes, Jesus died on the cross to wash away our sins and give us eternal life, but now I realize that he also knew that WE would need him to cradle our little baby boy. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type this knowing that Jesus sacrificed his own life to do this for US.
How can we ever repay him for this? There is only one way. Honor him in every little thing we do. It can be a small task, or a huge task, but I know that I will honor Jesus as I'm completing whatever is on my list for the day. That is all I can do, and the amazing thing is, that is all Jesus is asking me to do. And in return, he will forever hold our sweet baby Hayes in his strong arms.
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